So I was watching the latest episode of Suits, Season 5, and in the middle of the episode, bang, right there, Harvey says these GENIUS words!
As far as I’m concerned, two adults who care about each other, don’t move on at all.
— Harvey Specter (@__HarveySpecter) June 25, 2015
And I paused the episode and put my hands up in the air and screamed, “Yes! Exactly!!” (I know, drama queen)
Then I continued watching the rest of the episode… watching him just struggling.. and dying inside, and having panic attacks… And hurting himself, and even till the very end, just not doing the right thing. Sigh. Look at him.. he looks terrible!
Of course, the season has JUST begun. Of course, there’s a lot more to come. And of course, the writers of every sitcom have to put in the most unexpected, shocking twists & turns to every story to keep the series going. And so the drama will keep unfolding in weeks to come. But then, this blog post isn’t just about Suits.
It’s about why people waste so much time on drama. We all know people do, that’s why script writers get to write episodes like this and create plots like this.
But what about in real life? In real life, two adults who care about each other, don’t really move on at all. Yep.
If only we realised that every problem is only as big or as small AS WE MAKE IT in our minds.
If only we realised that every situation is only as good or as bad AS WE BUILD IT UP TO BE in our minds.
If only we realised that every moment and every day lost being unhappy is NEVER coming back.
If only we realised that when there’s a person in front of us who loves us with all our beautiful as well as ugly sides… is the person who’s learnt the meaning of true, unconditional love. (Where does one find that in today’s world?)
To expand on that thought… tell me, what happens at the beginning of relationships? We find someone we feel an attraction towards, we talk, we get to know them better… in our fascination and awe of them, we admire and see all the good things. We then start dating, become a couple, spend more and more time together. And then the glass starts cracking. We start seeing the “flaws”. We start noticing something they said or did that wasn’t how it was supposed to be in our fantasy world in our heads. “My partner shouldn’t have said/done that… it was meant to happen another way in my mind.” And there’s the trap.
That’s where it begins.
But only if you let it.
As far as I’m concerned, there are two ways to go about living life:
1. To think that there will be this one PERFECT person who will make you feel happy, amazing, wonderful all the time, and will be your ‘soulmate’.
2. To understand that NO HUMAN BEING on this planet is perfect. And the only perfect person for you is the one who accepts you as you are, the good with all the bad, and loves you more every day. You have good and bad days together, sometimes they drive you crazy and make you want to kill them, and sometimes they make you feel so joyful you feel like your heart would burst with love.
Let me tell you – it’s the 2nd type of people who succeed.
Succeed at what, you ask? Well, at life.
1. They get that life is made up dualities. Good and bad. Happy and sad. Up and down. High and low. These qualities are complementary to each other. You wouldn’t understand one without the other. And honestly, one wouldn’t exist without the other.
2. They accept this reality, this world of dualities we live in, and they know that this is the only way to find peace inside of you. They know that the more you try to resist this truth, the more you struggle on the inside, the more frustrated you feel.
3. They get that in acceptance….acceptance of every thing and every one and every situation…. is peace. Once you stop resisting what IS… and accept it… there is a certain calmness, a peace.
4. They get that grumbling about how it should be, or how it could be, or how it could have been…should have been… is pointless. What does it do to your mind? Just increases it’s frustration. So, what’s the point?
5. And most importantly, they get that happiness is an inside job. It doesn’t depend on somebody else. Happiness is about you controlling your thoughts, and not letting your mind (which is usually your enemy) dictate how you feel to you. If you don’t control your mind… you can’t control the downward spiral that the mind is absolutely an expert at making you fall into.
So, please. Don’t be like Harvey (unless you’re a lawyer in a court of law). Don’t let your denial of your feelings get you falling into that downward spiral. And no, tickets to some stupid game are not the solution. They’re just a distraction Harvey! Bottom line – IT’S NOT WORTH IT. Just walk over to Donna’s desk and ask her to marry you already. You both love each other. That’s all that matters.
In the end, only love matters.