11 Things Shy People Struggle With

by Friday, August 8, 2014

So sparking off from my previous post today, where I wrote about how your closest friends in your innermost circle are really the ones who know the real you, is the thought behind this post – that the rest of the world only sees one aspect of your personality most of the time… and it made me think that well yeah, being a Capricorn, I am by default a shy, reserved, quiet kind of person. It comes with the Zodiac! As kids Capricorns are quiet, and generally the well-behaved-not-too-troublesome type, and as we grow up (depending on our experiences, field of work etc), we shape our outer personalities for the world. More often than not, we remain the introverted, reflective type. But occasionally we do let our hair down and do a crazy dance in the middle of the street (for lack of a better analogy).

So in an effort to break it down, here are some of the things that shy, introverted people like me probably struggle with making others understand:

1. We’ve usually always just had one or two ‘closest friends’ around us at any given point in life. We turn to them for everything. The whole ‘group of friends’ scene, and the dynamics that come along with it, are alien to us, and we have to struggle to keep up if faced with such a scenario.

2. We may have a face that more often than not makes us look anti-social, or snobbish if you will (I know I do). We don’t intend to come across as that. It’s just how God may have designed our features. 

3. We really are not ‘trying to be quiet’. We just naturally are. It’s shyness. Not because we’re not interested in you or what you’re saying. On the contrary, we may be very interested (I am very curious about people and their stories most of the time), but the shyness factor probably holds us back from the conversation.

4. We may prefer to stay at home with a good movie or a good book on most nights. But there are times we want to be at a club, or a party, and be dancing on top of that table. Oh, and when we do feel like doing that, we don’t hold back, we do it. 

5. After an event like that, we may need to retreat into our space again to recover. Doesn’t mean we’ve become anti-social again. It just means we need to recharge. Like your phone.

6. When we’re around people we like, we try to get completely involved in what they’re saying, doing, and wanting to talk about with us. We may not emotionally connect with their situation, but we really do want to hear about it, and offer our genuine viewpoint if asked to do so.

7. Sometimes if we behave in above said manner too often with someone, we get asked why we were paying them ‘too much attention’. People tend to assume there’s ‘something more’ there because it’s ‘not like us’ to talk so much to a person. We really were doing nothing of the sort. We love good conversations, and we just had a beautiful one, and that’s that. 

8. We don’t safeguard our inner space or persona from the world with the intention of appearing mysterious. Really. Some people just don’t feel the need to tell everyone everything about their life.

9. We don’t crave or like attention. Yes, it is flattering if it comes our way, but really, we can live without it. Of course one likes being acknowledged for one’s work, but then again, spotlight on us? *runs out the door*

10. We may be fairly sure about what we want out of life and all those big things, but hell, we’re confused most of the time about most things! What to eat, what to wear, where to go, when to go.. this can cause frustration in those closest to us. 

11. And lastly, we would really just like to not be labelled. ‘Anti-social’. ‘Snob’. I got ‘ice queen’ a lot in my younger days. We are a whole bunch of contradictions. Just like everyone else. So let’s just all be. 🙂

JS

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1 Response
  • Apeksha (@apeksha_hegde)
    August 8, 2014

    reminds me of all the times I tried answering those silly questions online of extrovert vs introvert 🙂 (done it so many times) to figure out the ‘struggle’ like you put it , in this lovely write up ! , so the struggle eventually ( and hopefully now ) is warming up to embracing these things (psychiatric evaluation / snooty trying to be different – can definitely laugh off being labelled the same now ) , agree with most though 3 , 6 and 7 for me is like me getting on the rooftop and screaming out loud for people to just get it and let it be !

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